crazy stuffs...can go mad with this guys.. 24/6/11

what i was doin on the day?? on the morning after the briefing, i was call upon my "other" boss..thats what my fren teased me..he was atc a mechanical engineer..nothing to do with me right, but i was helping him to do his work order n stuff..but okla..when i have nothing to do..helping him will full fill those free time.. he was saying.. Lim, nanti tolong saya ye...pukul 10 macam tula..i like..ok no prob...hehe my fren watching frm far n giggling.. wei boss kamu rindu kamula..lol

  then he asked me..wana escape onot..later follow us to do some work at da roof top of the 8th level building of the hospital..cool le..alwiz waiting to do some exploration..onli with our tags..we could go almost anywer in the hospital..hehe..who else could go??no wan..yeah so i obviously dowana miss the chance to go..i wana see the view of klang frm the roof top..hehe so i waited for the time to come..

after lunch..n around 4pm..my fren finally ask me, hey wana go out d?yeah of course..then he told me that atc its not for work..v jus wana take pic at the roof top..jokingly..so i thought its jus a joke..so i went off with them... wearing my proud unimap jacket..during this hour of time the ward will be restricted for visitors to visit..but for us..haha..v are radicare officers..as known by the guards ther..we jus went in while others watchin and waiting..lol..how cool was that..hehe..

so for the first time i been to the doctor's on call room..wher i could c all the pizza's boxes n kfc boxes in the trash..wait..are they like partying??? erm any way..hehe i dun care about it..we went straight to da roof top..wow i love those scenery from there..i could c the whole klang frm here..it was beautiful..onli thing is its was damn hot ther..i mean.of course when u get direct sunlight without any shades..but i dont care..haha

i so anxiously brought out my camera jus to find it dead..lol..wat the heck no battery..n my buddies are like posing...haha sory guys..so have to use khairul's handphone to take our pics..hehe
although it was realy burning hot..it doesnt seemed to stop us frm enjoyin ourselves..hehe..used all the maximum time until its time to go back..haha naughty la v all..

view from the other side of the roof

hehe jus edited for fun..

my own stunt..wuakaka

at the pathway of the doctor's on call room..omg my eyes...

 

touching.. :(

I went through a few short stories to spend my free time..n i have come to one story that realy made me cry.. hope it means something to u guys as well..or mayb it just me that too sensitive..hehe

MARRIAGE 

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. 

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. 

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? 

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her! 

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. 

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. 

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. 

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. 

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. 

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. 

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. 

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. 

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside 
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. 

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. 

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. 

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. 

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. 

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. 

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. 

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. 

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore. 

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. 

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. 

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. 

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead. 
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband.... 

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. 

gud nite..i miss you..

its time for me to say good night..as tomolo is monday..arggh..hate mondays..kills the mood in me.. im gona indulge to my bed soon..but my heart isnt feeling right now..i duno y it is all of a sudden..im starting to miss him again..y all this have to happen..

ya i guess i realy do miss him alot..i duno why..is like i could not wake up from dreaming..he jus make me feel so complete..when i am so angry..he will jus melts me down..i miss those things..please..dont foget about me..i alwiz thinking about u here...

sometimes i wonder..if i din text u, din even call..will u ever realize?? will u call to ask if i was ok..n the most importantly will u tell me that u actually missed me too???its ok..watever it is, its never be ur fault..it will alwiz be mine..im not good enuf for u..i dont have each criteria that u wanted..myb its jus me..im imperfect..i fail to win over ur heart..to u,im jus a friend..mayb thats y it does not effect u at all..

the onli thing i could do now..is to jus dream..n continue dreaming..thats the onli way..i could be happy without facing the reality that hurts..even forawhile will be enough for me..good nite n sweet dreams to you.. i miss you..

Daddy's Day...^^

 Today is father's Day and im not there to celebrate with him..wa like this things have become a normal thing for me..huhu..my dad is a one kinda man..wana no why?? hehe obviously he is the onli patient man in the house..my sister, me n even my mum..often gets pissed off so fast n will show it..but my dad..he jus..erm..like watever..hehe but when he got mad...he wont exactly show it to us..but he will jus take his motorbike n leave the house.. for a ride..that time ill no he is very mad..omg..then wen he got home..everyone of us will remain silent until he speaks up..then we will no that he is ok..means not angry anymore..haha

 my dad is a good cook..i love his cooking, my mum cooks too but my dad is special in his own way..so, occasionally my house would had some quarrels between these two master chefs..like my dad prefer in his way, but my mum prefer the other way round..so to settle this..hehe ill be the judge for them, coz my job is to eat haha..but oftentimes my dad wins..*oops sory mum..

   my dad is a chinese man..but he is good in speaking in tamil and even read and write in tamil language without atcually goin to school for it..wow how awesome is that..hhehe ppsst between u n me..this is how he tackles my mum..haha..

  my dad is kinda popular in my hometown..wana no y? coz he atc sings in tamil too...he joins a band and sings for occasion like weddings, dinner n so on..n people loves his singin..so mostly people knew him.. ehem bangganye saya..

  being the leader of the famili, my dad realy works hard..but he will not complain about it..but i know when i look his face, i could c his tiredness n exhaustion frm work..thanks dad for everything, i wish i could repay u..but i could not repay u the amount of love u had showered me..

  " IF UR MUM SAYS NO, GO TO UR DAD" hhehe..this il awiz do... they alwiz say im daddy daugther when i prefer to ask him rather than my mum..hehe i likela..y?coz i no he trust me..

  

hmmm.. wat to blog..wat to blog about..huhu..obviously im out of ideas but hey even i have no idea to ryte.. i could make a sentence out of it..saying i duno wat to ryte..lol ( please ignore all the above, the writer was out if her mind for minutes there).. myb blogging isint my kinda thing..uno like u got to blog each and every day..n u just so many stories..granma stories..jus to show that u are an active blogger..all this are done for fame..hahaha

n then u keep taking pictures of urself, and finding interesting pictures on ur blog..so the that people would evetually will be interested and will come back for more..sometimes.. i feel like this blogging things are are more to get people's attention rather than being ourselves..u no..like desperately looking for people attention so the next day u will become the "buah mulut" means popular..

                   

so im hope i am not in the desperate list..hehe who knows the person who kutuk about this..is the person who atcually good at it..haha..
its already a month over ive been away from my famili..b Fathers day is jus around the corner....but still im here..n i still be here till im done with my practicals..n luckily today is sat n im gona sleep like pig till noon.. hehe i can n i could do it..yeah....i missed home so much..u can never feel anything like home..full love.. secured.. u can look at ur worst n no one will care bout hw u look like....hehe

i love u all....

 im missing all the fun i had with my family..i missed getting scolded by my mum for not doin the house chores..hehe,here..wa..i become so undisciplined person..n uncoordinated person..do watever i like.. sleeping like a pig, getting up late..eat whenever i wanted..left my clothes for days in the pail without washing it..although its sunny outside..haha..if at home..im definitely could hear the music..

 i missing the times that i will not think of spending any of my penny when my parents are around.. about food especially about food..hehe i could jus get anything i wanted..and for other stuffs..all i have to do is to show my innocent face..n could get da money...haha, here erm..i have to think of every penny im spending..omg.. every single cents counts..at least i learnt how to save money..sory dad n mum for being irresponsible child..huhu..its ok..sure theyll forgive me wan..haha

  i cant wait to go back n meet u guys..yeah..im waiting for my practicals to over..then il be on my way to my lovely hometown..yeah!!

wuhuuu

  oh wow...man this been a long time..i got so sad i couldnt update my blog..till i have no idea wat to blog about anymore..haha..life has been busy nowadays..u no..with my practicals..at least i had some work to do..hehe but the most funny thing i learnt is how i could escape from my workin place if u get to bored..coz u dont have a work.. u no wat i mean?..so instead of being sleepy n caught playing games or wateve..i finally found a way to get away from this boredom..


  as i was workin in a hospital..this means that i am also one the satff..haha so i could go anywer i like with just showing off my nametag..huhu most of them will think that im some kinda big person with big status, proud lu..hehe so when i got bored..well il jus follo any of the workers to follow up with their job with my new friend, or jus hangout in the cafe or the library with my fren..huhu man i was bad..i could jus spent at least an hour in the library for the doctors...jus to read newspapers n reading some health magazines.. n of course having some naps there..omg..wat a bad student am i..shame of urself swan!!..


   hey im not that all bad k...when comes to work..il be at my 100% good attitude..hehe..it applies onli when i have no work to do, i barely stay put on the chair..this will b the time of my criminal mind to work out..how to escaped without being notice..and people atc thought u are out for working purposes..hehe.. and because of this..i got sunburn all over my body..coz have been walking around under hot sun..huhu... damn now who will marry me now..haha...gonela nowbody will want me... sorry all this are crap...

when im bored..thats when i started to miss things...and most of it are silly things..

sometimes i wish i have superpowers so that i could just fly where ever i wanted.. jus to escape from  this miserable life

yeah..it is...

   sometimes i just dont feel satisfied when some of them atcually using me for other purposes..like a fotostat girl..ok if its 1st or 2nd time..but when it continues..i got angry...hoooiiiii..im an engineer k..not a fotostat machine k..watla..think im wat now..dahla no allowance..ini bagi kerja lebih..haha..okok..oopss sory.. to emotional nowadays..c till i scold them in malay rather than in english..haha wat to do..since all of the worker there are malays..so i kinda fogoten on my speaking..lol..and i learnt new words frm them as most of them are from kelantan n terngganu..bein the only non muslim ther..err atc no problem...even i look like one..hehe they are fun to work with..i mean in the sense of having someone to talk ti when u got bored..n they way they teach u..luckily most of them are humble..n kind..hehe..so i did not feel like i was atcually different from them..

at least i dont feel that im different

if not, there will be no one to help me..huhu

Arrrghhhhhh....

hey wat the result coming out tomolo???noooooooo..plis its not the time for me to die yet...pliz im still young..ahh..why i have  to go through all this everytime my results comes up...its not i dont like doin the exam, but  i mind getting the result...cracking my head thinking of it...gonela im sure i cant sleep tonight, so i guess im not gona think about it till this friday..then il b crying whole day..its ok coz it will b sat n sun..so nobody will found out if my eyes red or swollen cause of non stop of crying..thank kiu..

" with the way my Heart LoVeS  u right now.. I can'T DecIde Whether to GiVE up Or to kEep gOiNg on EvEn its HurTS Alot thinKIng tHat You'll nEver bE mine "