People do change..but not memories..

its funny how life got me now..everything seemed so different..i alwiz wonder where did i done wrong..for once u felt so complete..so happy, and next thing is..all was like a dream.. a perfect dream that u wouldnt want to wake up from..mayb it was fate for me..that there wont b a happy ending in my fairy tale..

mayb thats how it usually goes..n yes im new for it.. so myb im kinda overreacting.. if i had been experiencing it more then once..who knows..i might get use to it..n i wont be so emo..do i..

wow..i duno how easy could it be to jus forget everything.. all the memories..ends up like washing ur hands.. and now i do understand why u wanted to get rid of me..n yes u realy did.. n i guess its too easy for u

 i guess u r happy now.. dun worry il get through..lets us stay like this.. i guess its for good.. no relationship last long if one of them stopped trying..

here we go again..the same thing..all over again..i need to pull myself back up..no more in committing myself in this hell anymore..fine if u wanted it that way..ul have it..in my way.. thanks for making me feel like an idiot..

all i wanted was friend who i could cry to..n complain any stuffs that i couldnt tell anyone else.. but u jus missed ur chances..n lucky for me i guess..u haven heard about my darkest side ever..

and thanks to u...i learned my lesson, and its ok coz, guess i can find more people jus like u in future.. myb at that moment of time i already knew how to deal with this kinda situation.. hehe so there wont be any reason for me to become emo again.. n i believe that..

so go ahead live ur life..hope ur happy..no worries, i wont be cursing or watsoeva.. but i oso wont be wishing u the best too..well that jus me..im gonna live my life of my own now..if there a destiny that might bring us to meet each other..dun worry..i wont even bother to look..i no u will be wishing the same either.. and i want u to know that..

Bad LUCK>>>>>>>>

why mus this happen to me...aarrrgghhhhh...not the 1st time..but like so many times..feels like i have bad feng Shui wit my lappy...aiz...1stly cant online by wireless..now it kept shuting down itself.. arrgh i  felt like banging my head to the wall....arrgh..n all this happen when i tried to online at a kopitiam nearby.. luckily my mum is at home..can ask her help to bring over my sister's lappy if not il be dead meat...
n my sis laptop...ahaha one more prob..she don have any microsoft office to be used...watla..so i cant even view my yahoo mail's any attchemnts n this means i cant send my final year project title to my school coordinator.. greatla...

luckily i have my fren to help me out...LAU JIA SIEW>>>> i love u gal...aahhhh without u..i dunola wat i can do...aiz...thanks alot wei for the help..i promise to treat u when v meet in perlis bac k...mmmuah love u...

Now one thing left to do is to reformat my lappy...arrgh duno hw much will it cost...damn one more thing..the important documents in my lappy..hopefully its will stay there..scad scad..so if im writing again my blog..i hope its a happy news saying that yeah my lappy is bac..n i could online using my broadband again..* as it is blocked for now for not paying yet the bill...if not...~choi choi choi..dowan say..touch woood....!!!

all is done..and i had to say Good bye....

Why does it takes a minute to say Hello..but it takes forever to say Good bye???? 3 months flew jus like that.. wow..it felt like i jus joined the team on my first day..at first i was thinkin when all this will come to an end? cant it be faster? but now..wow..i cant believe im leaving this place so soon...hmm..time does not wait for no one..
 Being as a trainee had thought me a lot of things..from the knowledge till my attitude and the way of thinking, since i could not write it out in my Uni report..so il write it here..hehe so this is called "My Blogger Report on Industrial Training"..hehe

1st day: I was damn polite..haha usually im not la..smilling all the way..talk with the sweetest voice i ever created..try not to act like im a pro..haha..means acting innocent abit..and i was at my best attitude ever..lalala

End of 1st month: watla..still got two more months ar...trying to get used to the place n the..erm not so delicious food..i was so rajin, diligentla....each work was done in speed of light..lol..n there are some guys kept disturbing like no other work to do..ish..old man oso got..watla..wat in the world they are thinkin that i will layan them..

End of 2nd month: i got lazier..since most of the time i had no work to do..i leaned how to escape to library if there is realy nothing to do..n i went out earlier for lunch as i got hungry realy fast nowadays..hahah this i learn from my dearie other trainee guy..the name i wont mention..hehe..i was so tensed up..theres no work to do..n he was like..relaxla swan..memang macam ni..if u get any allowance..u think they will let u sit like that ar..

Starting of 3rd month : hehe instead if taking breakfast early in the morning..i took right after the every morning briefing by the boss or his right n left hand person..hehe..coz now i learned on how they work... means at wat time they will actually start their work..wat they would do at some point of time..hehehe..n also..i learned on their behavior..those who will please the boss..n those who will not..haha

Somewhere middle of the month:  1st appear as a silent girl..wa now not anymore..hehe they were like..wa swan dulu senyap je..sekarang dah lain..haha..but its a compliment atcually as they did not adress me as show off..or sombongla..hmm..i guess they loved to do all sort of jamuan, party..hehe so il get all sort of free food..hehe..but they are generous as they alwiz invite me to join..although i have nothing to do with it.. hehe n the most touching part was they did this party to celebrate us trainees.. how thoughtful n i had gifts from them too..^^ n i have my name craved on it too..wuahh

One week b4 the training ends: haha..u no somthing..i was wearing jeans all the while..n jus tshirt..but ill wear jacket with it..so its like..erm..i likela..what to do..i don have much formal attires..so the uni jacket will be my formal thingy..but to jaga my muka..i mean..to get a good expression..i started to wear slacks instead of jeans..haha not the blouse ar..i really din own that much formal blouses.. n this started one week b4 da last week...lol.teruk betui..

One the final week: yeay cant wait for this to over man...aiz..wait..my lect gona visit me soon..damn my log book..arhh..haven finis..tension..tensed up..n tension...n the best part..i was showered by lots of work...when i was free..it doesnt show up..but when i have things to do..n this time they have other plan for me..ah..but its ok..i managed to finis it up eventually..n had my lect visited..and hey..i was nervous for nothing too..thought my lect will be asking too many quest..but it ends up as v were talking like v are friends lol..since i could us my boss's room..hehe i looked like i was the boss for one day..hehe who could have that kinda opportunity??^^

On the final day: oh no..i still got reports to be submitted to my supervisor..but luckily for me he said its ok to give him the softcopy as i explained that i could not go out n so on..so i was doin..n doin..n doin..till person behind asking me..Swan r u ok?? senyap je apasal..sangat sedih nak meniggalkan tempat ni ke..?? lol..
i finally completed my report arnd 430pm..phewww..then i copied the folder on his desktop..n i was thinkin shoudnt i give something to them as a token of appreciation?? aiz..i no moneyla..din buy anything oso..if i wanted to buy..i had to buy it alone..means no sharing n so on..dahla im broke..so i planned to make one..hehe..its ok..still can makid..wats internet for..hehe i did some flower origami and gave it to them.. ^^

n thats it...time to say good bye...aiz..y i felt my heart so heavy out of a sudden..im gona leave this place..its like im will never come back here again...i felt sober in my heart..i gave hugs to da staff as they were kept saying..swan jangan lupakan kami ya..kalau datang klang..ade masa datangla jenguk ye..awww..hhmm.. who knows the future..if i could for sure i will..^^

♥ NOTE

One night a guy and a girl were driving home from the movies.
The boy sensed there was something wrong because of the painful silence
they shared between them that night.
The girl then asked the boy to pull over because she wanted to talk.
She told him that her feelings had changed & that it was time to move on.
A silent tear slid down his cheek as he slowly reached into his pocket & passed her a folded note.
At that moment, a drunk driver was speeding down that very same street.
He swerved right into the drivers seat, killing the boy.
Miraculously, the girl survived.
Remembering the note, she pulled it out & read it.
“Without your love, I would die.” 

pic says a thousand words...erm mayb some of it..

  This was quite long time ago..the time when i had all the fun..n hopes in the heart...the latter wan..jus ignore.. this was..erm when was it..oh ya somewer end of May when the Pirates of Caribbean was jus being released n i was so lucky that i coincidentally went MidValley with my fren and we found this........at the heart of the shopping complex...  

tadaa...wat do u call this..erm exhibition? watever it is..it was awesome..i was with my bagpack.. looking so deadly tired coz of travelling..i looked at my worst..wat the heck..i dowana miss this.. haha.who cares how u look like..hehe atcually y was i here? its becoz my fren n i were supposed  to follow back my fren's sis..so while waiting we hangout around the place n v came to this..since at that time the movie jus released its premier..so to promote it..they held this kinda tourist attraction..guess it does work....^^ 

The Black Pearl..hehe

The treasure chest..i wonder if the heart of Davy Jones is around..

Well of course i wouldnt want to miss the chance to pose around..although i looked terrible..wuakaka.. n i pulled my fren in too to give her shot^^ . it was cool though..they had their own smoothie station..i forgotten the name.. but something to do with pirates..we bought a drink..mixture of many type of fruits..it was so thick n nice..mmm yummyy... besides that they had these small small booths such as tattoo shops..aha n the guys the were hot.. haha..seriously realy good looking..but v din hang much longer..as we had to go back...

actually i went to my fren hous for a reason..attending my fren's brother's wedding..so v got all dressed up..were confused of the hall's name..haha chong hua with chung hua..who expect that...but v had arrived jus in time.. its was a beautiful wedding dinner, both bride n groom looked beautiful..n the food was delicious..and yeah they had performances..haha like watching a mini concert...^^

hehe v got him b4 he changed to his normal attire ..looked short thought..haha

My fren and I...hehe her name is Carol..

 After the wedding..we got back..tired..but my fren gave me some magic drink n..ehem..duno wat hapen..we watched some programs on tv..n the next thing i no..i was in deep sleep till the next day... but one thing for sure i realy did had fun all the way...will cherish it..^^

Me..life..random..

1. sometimes i wished i am perfect..but i realize its not fun to be perfect at all..u gotta make mistakes so u can learn frm it.. n mayb someday it will bring smile on ur face when u look back..

2. what if v do have solution for all problems..life will be meaningless, ait??

3. life have thought me a lesson.. having high expectation will eventually disappoints me in the end.. n eventually breaks my heart n ill cry myself to sleep.. so il live with no expectation.. no forcing people..no waiting.. no hurting.. n no disappointment.

4. if u cant get what u wanted.. try satisfy with what u get...n u will learn to appreciate things more..

5. till now ill be wishing upon the stars to hear me out..n ill wish the one furthest  coz it might be the nearest to GOD, n when my wishes come true.. it will be the prettiest stars in the universe..^^

6.  i believe money cant buy all..some comes free..without v asking for it..so cherish them

7. i din born to please everyone.. so if ure not satisfied with me..that wont be my F***kin problem..wuahahaha

8. this definitely will piss me off..

9.i love watching cartoons, animations..fantasies, so wat, they are not meant for small kids onli k..they do teach lessons u know...like the saying; growing old is mandatory, growing mature is an option..hehe

10. like any other girls, i do dream about my prince..one day ur prince charming will come but mine..jus..nah..

11. i do have a negative side in me..haha wat to do not perfect wat.. if someone pisses me off..forever i wont give a damn..no matter how hard they tries to please me especially when i know they are faking it.... but some myb ill considerate with T & C applies..hehe.

12. sometimes i alwiz wonder,why doin the right thing will be the hardest thing i ever had to do..y cant it be done it in my way..cant i be selfish for once a while..

13. i wished i could read whats goin on in people's mind..so i wont be puzzled, confused, anxious waiting for the answer..that in the end...it doesnt matter anymore..

14. people hold onto memories so badly coz they believe memories cant change the way it made them feel, when people does...

15. the saddest thing that can happen is when one falls in love while the other wants nothing more then friendship..its the same when u sitting next to the person who means a world to u knowing that u mean nothing to them..sucks :(

hmmm..i thinks thats enough for now..getting more emo later..hehe.. but wateve it is..this is wat my feelings about.. about me..n life lessons..to be continued soon..hehe

somwer in a paddy field..hehe 11/6/2011

yeah..looking at the date itself shows that it was quite long time ago..hehe wat to do..i jus got those pictures recently..so could onli update it now..mayb il miss some info here n there..it might due to some forgotten events or..hehe mayb is something u shouldnt tell,"TOP SECRET"...

  actually, i went there without my mother fully agreed on it..i explained to her that im goin jus for few days..n not to spent money on shopping or something..jus wana get out frm the 4 walls in the room..i mean..i usually have nothing to do during the weekends..n i will get..really really damn bored..n at that time..my broadband was not with me..so i cant realy imagine wat i will do..lol..n my mum expect me to jus sit at home..staring at the walls.. and count those lizard passing by..arrgh.. sory mum im jus not the homely type of person..oopss..gonela i better warn my future husband that i cant be full time housewife,kaka...

  hmm about da location i shouldnt be telling coz its top secret,hehe but if u guys are smart enough then it shouldnt be a problem..but first of all...its neither in Perlis nor in Kedah...u guys could not find paddy fields that are so green and beautiful...but u can c it here..^^

went there on friday after work itself..took bus n reach around 10pm..i guess, when i reach the place it was dark..so i couldnt see much the places around the house,..hehe had nasi goreng for dinner coz it was last minute plan hehe..but its ok..it was delicious... then v went to sleep coz it was a tiring journey..

the next morning when i woke up..it was a beautiful day outside..not so sunny but jus a nice weather to go out..went straight to the bathroom coz i cant wait to go out..hehe felt like i was a small kid again..i cant forget the first time of i saw the scenery outside.. it was soo..amazing..the house was surrounded by paddy fields except the frnt of the house where theres road n drains..haha..i couldnt take my eyes from the place..the paddy looks so yellowish green..ready to be harvested...

so after having breakfast v went out for a journey..hehe for them it was a usual thing, but for me..it was totally differnt think that i've never experienced b4..i have my own tour guide to explain wat happen during the harvesting periods.. 

hehe watching only does not satisfy me..i did take on board on these giant machines..onli i jus sat on and not..ride it...haha if i start da machine..erm....gone..il be chased off by da village peoples..haha

it was a fantastic three days 2 night adventure..free food...no tips for the tour guides..haha instead i was the one treated like a guest of honor here..hehe the fun part was that there were not jus paddy fields there the whole way long..there were corn fields, mango orchards..nangka n cempedak trees everywer along the roads..n the most fun part was when i went to a betel leaves farm..which is called daun sirih in malay..it was run by an Indian family and it was a very beautiful farm..looked like an strawberry or grapes farm by the way the grow it..

so there were many things ive done ther..getting free icreams..goin fo a ride da whole village..putting my legs into da paddy fields..it was dry though, my fren told me i was lucky coz da soil was not that wet..if not i will b sucked off by those leaches..arrgghh...so i took this opportunity to pose n take alot of pictures while i could..hehe

 so thats it..days full of enjoyment...realy had fun..my personal thanks to my friend who brought me there.. hope i could go again..real soon..hehe^^